Good works and alms giving

Being idealistic has brought me lots of headache. It makes me see more clearly than many others how almost everybody live for themselves. In the world today, nobody wants to hear about alms giving, good works, trust in God, prayers, fasting etc because all these entails sacrifices and leaving one's comfortable zone. Many question what they get in return of the "goodness" they do. They want recognition and applause. Gone are the days when the right hand does not know what the left hand is doing.

Doing good deeds require us to act to perfection our daily duties and perfection of charity toward others. Alas, it is difficult and painful for many to fulfill. If we consider the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, we know it is not said explicitly that the rich man is wicked and heartless. All we know is that he was rich and Lazarus was poor. Perhaps the rich man had a family, probably he was a good father, husband and son. Maybe he went to the synagogue every week and was an outstanding member of society. What is more, we have no reason to assume that the rich man did not help the poor. He may have donated to a charity organisation, he may have tithed. We really don't know but what we do know is that whatever else the rich man did in his life, he did not help Lazarus when he was in need and that lead to his eternal damnation. This one sin in which he rejected a single poor person cries out to Heaven. When even a single person who begs from us remain poor, the rich will hurl into hell.

Has anything change in 2000 years? Perhaps the rich man ignored Lazarus but at least he allowed him to sit and beg. In our world today, the presence of a beggar would most likely to lead us to call the police and have him taken away. If we see a fundraiser, we will probably walk the other way, reject him and even condemn him for being a nuisance. If the rich man had ignored the cry of Lazarus, we are more worst off than the rich man for we live in a society which systemically suffocates the poor's cry. When will we truly understand what Jesus really meant when he said "Blessed are you poor but woe to you who are rich". Without alms giving, how shall we ever inherit life everlasting? sigh......

The fragility of life

I have been a collaborator with the Marist Brothers in Cambodia for the last two years. I help them to raise funds for their community work and for the poor. But alas, I am no longer young and healthy and raising fund like planting rice is never fun. One of the Marist brothers has taken much effort to write a report on Pailin but somehow his report did not move many hearts. It has been three weeks since I started asking for financial assistance but only two people responded.

Some people commented “Oh, awesome work” and that’s it. I am not the least encouraged, in fact it makes me terribly sad and I want to give up “asking for the widow’s mite”. I want to shout to God to send someone else for I cannot move any hearts. Last Sunday, I watched with awe and a heavy heart the amount of money raised at the President’s Star Charity Night... a whopping S$5.7 million and here I am “begging” for USD7,100 to employ two teachers, buy 10 used computer, build a library for 100+ children in Pailin without any result. What a setback!

Just as I was about to give up, forget about what fund-raising and just mind my own business… I received a mail this morning from a Marist novice desperately asking for help for his aged parents and mentally ill brother as flood has destroyed their entire rice crop. I also read a blog written by Brian… “We were saddened recently when a young man collapsed at our centre here in Pailin, soon after he died in the local hospital. We do not know the cause of his death but it did bring home to all of us the fragility of life. I was struck by the fact that for many of our students at the centre, their life is one of poverty, one which many go about with a quiet dignity. It is the same of them in death. There was no great funeral procession for Vuthy, just a simple time of mourning in his family home a mere hour after his passing. I think that some of the local people were wondering who the white man was who was there viewing the body and saying his silent prayers for the deceased but my presence was respected and Vuthy’s short life was honoured.” People pass away every day, but unless we lose someone that we know personally, our own death may not be something that we think about frequently. So, who is Vuthy???? It’s like every now and again we need reminders of our place on earth and just how fleeting life is.

The fragility of life… is it a wake up call? Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But for today, I know God has touched my heart to do something for Sytha and the children in Pailin. Life is fragile and hence we ought to be grateful. We never know what difficulties we may encounter one day when we have to shout to the Lord to save us just as we do not know how others are suffering now and why we reject to be God’s instrument to their prayers. Perhaps one day, we may have to rely on these very people whom we refuse to help today.

We work hard to achieve success, acquire wealth, fill the aching voids in our heart, and to look good, (read carefully it’s to look good not do good) in society. Often times, we give very little thought to what is beyond this life. We are caught up in ensuring a comfortable life for ourselves here and now. Then one day when it hits us that life is fragile and fleeting, we find that all we have chased after here on earth will not save us when it comes to eternity.

The Widow's mite

Have you ever heard a sermon about the “widow’s mite” and her generosity as a giver or have you ever explored that theme in an exhortation to others about the imperative of “sacrificial” giving?

The story of the widow's gift to the Temple of her last two coins (Mk 12:41-44 & Luke 21:1-4) described a beautiful act in the desert of official devotion and almost universally is seen as some kind of observation on the measuring of gifts, or as an exhortation to “give till it hurts”, or as an example of some virtue to be acquired. Yet, apart from the text, if any one of us were actually to see in real life a poor widow giving the very last of her money to religion, would we not judge the act to be repulsive and to be based on misguided piety because she would be neglecting her own needs? Do we really think that Jesus would have reacted otherwise? Do we really think that he would have enthused over such a donation?

The range of exegetical opinion of the Widow’s mite is amazing. The point of Jesus' commendation is that the true measure of gifts is not how much is given but how much the gift represents and that the true measure of gifts is the self-denial involved and the cost of it for the giver. It is not the amount which one gives that matters but the spirit in which the gift is given specify self-offering, unquestioning surrender, total commitment, loyalty and devotion to God's call, gratitude, generosity, humility and unobtrusiveness, trust in God to provide for one's needs and lastly detachment from possessions.

The moral of the story is that alms and other pious gifts should correspond with one's means. All that Jesus says is: “She gave more . . . for they all contributed out of their abundance but she out of her want has put in everything she had, her whole living.” Presumably Jesus is implying that the widow gave more because her gift was a sacrifice. It is gratuitous to say that it is not the amount but the spirit accompanying the gift which makes the difference. When Jesus tells the story of the widow giving her only two pennies, he never actually praises her. He never actually makes a value judgement over her great sacrifice. Most Christians have always assumed that Jesus is praising this widow for her gift, and that he intends his disciples to take a lesson on Christian giving from her story. He just says, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those contributing to the treasury.” Sure, she gave out of her poverty, they out of their wealth. But Jesus never says “be like her,” he just says don’t be like the scribes. We should remember that men's offerings are not to be reckoned at their outward value but only by the motive of the heart.

Not only today do we find the widow's action painful but are we actually empowered by God to serve the needs of those who most need help? That's the challenge that the story of the widow's mite puts before us. Let us dedicate our offerings to the mission that Christ has set before us which is a people-centered mission. A mission that directs our resources, money as well as time and talents to that which matters the most…people in need!

Why do people fall in love?

Love is an intense, universal and intriguing emotion that knows no barriers of race, age and culture. It is an expression of profound affection, caring and attachment. Eulogized as life's driving force and cliched as "making the world go round" or "doing strange things to people". It is famously known to blind those it envelops!

When two people fall madly in love, the brain’s pleasure centres are activated causing the release of few chemicals such as dopamine, pheromones and serotonin. These chemicals are directly responsible for excitement, mood swings and generally lost in their own world. Falling in love is a magical experience that happens between two people. It is the most exhilarating of all human emotions and probably nature’s beautiful way of keeping the human species alive and reproducing.

The dynamics of being in love is our primary motivation as human beings is to expand the self and to increase our abilities and effectiveness. One of the ways that we accomplish this is through our relationships with other people. Usually, we fall in love with a person that we find attractive and appropriate for us but also someone who demonstrates that they are attracted to us. This creates a situation where a great opportunity is open to us for self-expansion.

Contrary to what most people think, the statistics show that most people fall in love with someone that they have known for a while. Only about 40% of people report falling in love quickly or love at first sight. Researches have shown that kindness and intelligence are extremely important in the process of falling in love. These two attributes are things that people learn about someone from knowing them over time. Intelligence is important in all aspects of life, especially in love. But kindness is the strongest indicator for a successful long-term relationship.

Love is not beyond the realm of science and the human brain, falling in love is just a matter of chemistry.

The danger of anger

Anger is a normal sentiment we feel when something unjust happened and when someone has let us down or hurt us, be it deliberately or not. This anger usually comes as a reaction to injustice and sin. The problem with anger is not anger itself, but anger that remains unresolved leading to bitterness and unforgiveness.

If we are very hurt and angry, our anger can overcome us. Bitterness can take on a power all of its own and leads to hate. This is quite the opposite from the love that we Christians have always seek to recognize within us. We can only give out the stirring love that God provides in our lives.

In Mark 11:25, we read of the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is described as being necessarily present before we can know the forgiveness of God for our sins. To forgive is an act of obedience. God requires this of us and surely for a good reason. As God through Christ has forgiven us of so much sin, we need to respect this gift of forgiveness by extending a forgiving attitude towards those that have wronged us. The consequence of us not forgiving others would be an inability for us to know the forgiveness that God has offered us. If we are not merciful as he has been merciful to us, where really is our repentance? How can we claim to have known his grace?

Anger can cause a rift between us and God, and also disfunctionality within us. If we want to be free of the pain and the affects of pain that our hurt emanates from within ourselves, we need to know healing. Without forgiveness, we are not co-operating with God’s will, and therefore are not in a place of grace in order to receive healing for the hurt that we have experienced. Forgiveness is an essential element to the process of inner healing.

Deep bitterness can give rise to many emotional and psychological problems such as depression and paranoia. Matthew 5: 21-26 covers anger, forgiveness and reconciliation. As Jesus clearly teaches, we should always try to make amends with people that we have fallen out of friendship with. It may not always be the case that others are prepared to forgive us when we have wronged them or vice versa, but the act of animating our remorse to them is essential. Through this act we are communicating our own desire for peace with the other person as well as God’s requirement towards everyone of love and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not easy. Depending on the degree of hurt or betrayal that is involved, it will often take time and effort. However, when a hurt person actually comes to the place where personal happiness, emotional freedom and relationship with God depends on that forgiveness, then the grace of God is needed to see them through in order to effectively control the anger and inviting God to deal with it.

In a nut shell, irrespective of race or religion, we can choose forgiveness, get rid of those painful feelings, arrive at peace and hope, and in the process also take this message all around to other people.

Not for sale

"Not for Sale" is written by David Batstone about human trafficking and global slave trade that generates US$31 billion annually and enslaves 27 million people around the globe, half of them children. The book highlights the picture and impact of modern slavery of the most vulnerable across the world.

Children, women and men of all ages are forced to toil in the rug loom sheds of Nepal and Pakistan, child soldiers fight wars in Africa, child sexual exploitation are blooming in Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam, India, Peru and many other countries, labourers are coerced to work without pay in Bolivia, India, Pakistan etc, child labour is a common sight in Indonesia, Brazil, Kenya etc, and sex syndicates are not to be undermined in many parts of Europe.

No nation wants to be known as a haven for slavery and trafficking but nonetheless over 150 countries around the world are documented as a source for the slave trade. A thriving black market in human beings has emerged in our modern world. It is a criminal enterprise involving scoundrels and international syndicates. Corruption among law enforcers and government officials play a key role in its success. The process of enslavement involves traffickers targeting children from communities lacking in social power and at times with the consent of the victims' parents, the extraction by traffickers by removing victims from their home communities to destination where they are unlikely to get support from law enforcement bodies or general citizenry, slaveholders seeking control over every aspect of the victim's life so that escape becomes unthinkable, the use of violence as a mean to reinforce control and ensure compliance and lastly physical and emotion exploitation of the victims.

We may passed by a construction site but never think twice whether the workers are in enslavement, toiling long hours with little or no pay. Children in sex slavery are openly offered as human services in broad daylight, at times in public view and most of us just stand by doing nothing, except to feel sympathy for them. Slavery is in reality, it is not invisible. They are in public view but how many of us will raise an alarm or an eyebrow?

Slaves in Pakistan may have made the shoes you are wearing, the carpet you on standing on. Slaves in the Caribbean may have put the sugar on your table and toys in the hands of your children. In India, they may have sewn the shirt on your back and polished the ring on your finger. The rice we eat may well be harvested by young children in Thailand.

Widespread poverty and social inequality ensure a pool of slaves as deep as the ocean. Parents in desperate straits may sell their children, young women in vulnerable communities are likely to take a risk on a job offer in an another country. The poor are apt to accept a loan that later manipulate and rob their freedom. Slavery flourishes in the world because it is tolerated by law enforcement.

I believe conviction of criminals is one of the most effective tools to deter trafficking and abusing people. If only the laws are enforced, the slave trade will end tomorrow. But unfortunately, slave owners, pimps and traffickers know they can rely on a broken public justice system to escape prosecution. The legalisation of the sex trade in many countries make the prosecution of traffickers, pimps and brothel owners almost impossible.

The book of Ecclesiastes expressed the desperation of the powerless. "I saw all the oppressions that are practiced under the sun. Look, the tears of the oppressed with no one to comfort them. On the side of their oppressors there was power". (Eccles 4:1)

I applause the courage and commitments of many abolitionists who are making a difference despite incredible odds. I hope and pray that the day may come when these movements will wipe away the tears of the oppressed and deliver justice to the oppressors.

What is more important?

It was like in the TV show Lonely Planet – The Road Less Travelled, on the day I went from Phnom Penh to Kampong Cham. The taxi was such an old “bomb”, I would never have imagined myself sitting in it. There was hardly any space in the front for me to stretch my legs. Two long horizon cracks across the windscreen and two spider web cracks on the driver and passenger side were constantly attracting my attention. I wondered if the heavy rain would shatter it and what would happen to me if the glass goes flying everywhere! The journey was long and bumpy and I dozed off and on during the 3 hours journey. As we drove passed the village, I saw naked children playing in the rain. They looked happy and I wondered if they knew what the outside world is.

Kampong Cham is a very poor village. I am very inspired by the NGOs who are there to help the poor and needy. The Marist runs a school consisting of two bamboo walls and flooring the size of a quarter basketball court. The white board is A4 size. Public school is free but to learn English, they have to pay US25 cents and not many parents can afford to send them. Even if education is free, it is not the priority; the children are required to help out in the padi field so that there are bread and butter on the table for the day.

We are aware that education is the way out of poverty and the key to success. Without an education you have nothing in this world but when survival surpasses it, what can one do except to let the opportunity goes. Even if all the NGOs in the world are willing to teach for free, who is going to harvest the crop? Who is going to put the next meal on the table?

I could only agreed with what Scott Peck had said… “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

The unread letter

Over the weekend in Phnom Penh, I received a letter from the mother of one of the Marist postulant. It was written in Khmer. I would have gotten it translated but I chose not to. I want the letter to be a reminder for me to remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that when times are bad and nearly impossible to keep our hope alive, one small random act of kindness can restore faith in God and mankind. I do not want to know the content to magnify what I have done.

I have done nothing significant for Sytha’s family. I only gave them some money to tie over the drought in their village last year. It did not burn a hole in my pocket or cause a dent in my wallet… just a small gesture to give them hope during their worst moments. But the money not only bring them relief, it also improved their living conditions. They repaired their roof and kitchen and also built an extension and created a bigger place to store the rice crop. Never did I expect that little kindness can do so much for the family. But her letter makes me feel even more blessed for it reinforces what I believe in… to give without expectation. I want to see the letter as a beautiful form of eschatology wherein we do not know each other and yet our lives have been touched by one another.

Her show of gratitude outweighs what I have done for them. Her letter is a reminder of bringing hope and changing lives that all of us are able to do if only we want to. The prevailing way to receive is to give from our heart. Give everything we can give. If we have money, give money. If not, give a hand to someone in need, give a smile, give some time to a community project, give a good example, give gratitude, give the best of ourselves in everything we do.Give of what we have without expecting to receive anything in return. Do what we can do to make life a little more joyful. There are many things we receive daily that were given by others out of the kindness of their hearts. We are all guilty of not noticing these free gifts that are a blessing in our daily lives.Sit for a moment and think of what we can do to touch the lives of other. One simple act of kindness will not deplete us in massive ways but it will display the love, joy, kindness and compassion that live within us.

I will treasure her letter for it shows that God never forsakes us, He provides, He cares and most importantly we are all instrument of His love, mercy and compassion.

Finding inner peace

Inner peace is the most valuable thing that we can cultivate. Nobody can give us inner peace, as it is our own thoughts that can rob us of it.. To experience inner peace we don’t have to retreat to a cave; we can experience inner peace exactly where we are. If we really value inner peace, we will work hard to make it a reality.

We have to choose carefully how and where we spend our time. Take the opportunity to be still or at least do something positive as the mind feels insecure unless it has something to occupy it. When we really can attain a clear mind, we discover it creates a genuine sense of happiness and inner peace. It is our thoughts that determine our state of mind. If we constantly cherish negative and destructive thoughts, inner peace will always remain a far cry. At all costs, we need to avoid pursuing trains of negative thoughts and this of course requires practice. It is not possible to attain mastery of our thoughts over night. But, at the same time we always have to remember that we are able to decide which thoughts to follow and which to reject. Never feel you are a helpless victim to your thoughts.

Modern life, places great demands on our time. We can feel that we never have enough time to fulfill all our tasks. However, we should seek to minimize these outer demands and take time to simplify life. There are many things that we can do without, quite often we add unnecessary responsibilities to our schedule. Do the most significant tasks, one at a time, and enjoy doing them. To experience inner peace, it is vital to avoid cluttering our life with unnecessary activities and worries. If we are dependant on the flattery and praises, we can never have inner peace. Criticism and flattery are two sides of the same coin. They are both the judgements of others. However, we should not allow ourselves to be affected by either. If we do, we are only feeding our ego. We should learn to have confidence in ourselves. We should value our real self and have belief in the good qualities that are part of everyone.

Inner peace does not mean that we have to live a life of a hermit. Inner peace can be felt amidst dynamic activity. But, this action should be done with selfless motives. When we serve others we forget our sense of self, and it is when we forget our limited self that we can have inner peace. If we want inner peace, we should feel that our inner peace depends on the well being of others. If we are indifferent to the feelings of others, then it is impossible to have inner peace for ourselves. What goes round comes back around, thus it is important to we offer a peaceful attitude to others.

Lastly, if you have inner peace, nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality

Friends are forever

You know some people who have "never met a stranger" and these are people who make friends wherever they go. I reckon I am one of those people who can talk to people easily and I am approachable when I choose to be. Making real friends? Those youthful days of meeting someone and being BFFs within hours are behind me. These days I am slow and guarded to discern between friends and acquaintances.

Making new friends is not easy at mid life. New friends are unlikely to come knocking at your door; you must get out and interact with people but you may even feel sluggish going out for a meal, drink or party, not to mention meeting strangers. However, I am fortunate to be able to make new friends who are witty and nice and able to give me the emotional support that I sometimes need.

Like first dates, the early stages of new friendship can be awkward and uncomfortable. This is not a reflection on you, the other person or the potential for friendship. It is just the way it is. One way to mitigate this is to do things together other than just meeting for a meal. Go to a movie, an art festival, just anything except just sitting and gazing into each others' eyes. Talk about society and we won't be tempted to over share personal stuff and perhaps overwhelm the other person. Relationship takes time to cultivate and it may takes years... but with a different degrees of intimacy and trust, real friendship can take place within a short frame of time.

Some of my most gratifying new friendships are people I knew long ago but with whom I lost touch. Thanks to Facebook that connect me with some long lost friends. Our shared memories are very fulfilling. In some cases, these were not actually friends in the past, but they are friends of a life time. These are not just about friendship but relationship as well.

Real friends are difficult to come by. If you meet someone with friend potential, make an effort to spend time with that person. Friendship is collective. If the friendship is meant to be, that gratifying connection will happen eventually. Some friendships just don't click. That is not a reflection on anyone. We need the connection to make it work. Nobody is a failure when friendships fail to take. Cut your losses, skip the self-flagellation, and move on to the next interesting person.

Friends are friends forever, acquaintances are not.

Beauty versus Brain

All in the name of beauty. But, what is beauty? What defines it? Is there a universal beauty? Can it be obtained? Beauty is famously in the eye of the beholder; but it’s also in the beholder’s brain, and may work differently in the brains of men and women. Who gets the most out of life: fame, fortune, and genuine relationships: those who are physically attractive or those who are less attractive but wise? Dr. Nancy Etcoff, a brain researcher and cognitive psychologist says, "Beauty is an asset in the struggle for survival and good looks are a great advantage in many areas of life."

According to BBC, our perception of beauty begins in the womb. Studies show that babies have a tendency to look the longest at faces with smooth skin, round eyes, plump lips, and symmetry. In fact, BBC reports that our DNA is written to produce symmetry, yet factors such as environment produces asymmetry. Universally, these characteristics represent youth and fertility. Our faces are "advertising hoarding which provides a potential mate with information about health, fertility and appropriateness as a partner". Men look for young and healthy faces, translating to mates that are youthful with big eyes and plump lips. Whereas, females look for mates with the most testosterone, indicating fertility and strength. Bony protrusions such as the nose, cheek bones, brows and jaw indicate a potential for healthier children.

Ironically, for a man, the more physically unconventional looking you are, the sexier your brain is perceived to be, which is great for men but not for women. It allows men to get fat, bald head as long as they pop enough ginkgo biloba not to get dementia. Women however, have to spend time plucking, picking and moisturising, otherwise she's off to the junkyard which is blow to gender equality.

So, then where does that leave us? Well, I am not really too sure, but those of you who are in search of this universal beauty, I would like to end with a reminder that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that the ones we love and admire become more beautiful with time.

Attitude of gratitude

William James, one of the founders of modern psychology, said this, "The greatest discovery of this generation is that a human being can alter their life by altering their attitude." What most people fail to realize is that our attitude not only impacts our happiness and success, it also can impact the happiness and success of all the people around us, family and friends. Attitudes are truly contagious, and from time to time we need to ask ourselves..."is mine worth catching?"

True gratefulness comes from a conscious decision to recognize our blessings together with a thankful heart. A thankful person can hold their gratitude, count and take joy in their blessings and also influence others with words and deeds by displaying their pleasure and appreciation. Life is full of opportunities for giving thanks. If you live a positive, grateful, successful life, you will attract other positive, grateful, and successful people.

Researches have shown that gratitude is beneficial to your health. In one study, a participant group recorded a diary of daily events, another group wrote down unpleasant experiences, and the third group wrote down a daily record listing things for which they were grateful. The gratitude group was more likely to help others, exercise and complete personal goals, while reporting more determination, optimism, alertness, energy, and enthusiasm. It is interesting to note that this study also found people who take time to deliberately record their gratitude were more likely to feel loved, and found more kindness reciprocated to them as they sent out an increase of kindness from their attitude. Also, grateful people were grateful regardless of whether special events happened in their day or not. In other words, they did not just have moments of gratefulness but grateful attitudes.

I want to thank God for how my life has changed, and for showing me how to live happily, successful and free. “True thanksgiving means that we need to thank God for what He has done for us, and not to tell Him what we have done for Him.”

Late bloomer

Not everyone is quick off the mark and succeed early in life. Some of us are like slow-boiling pots needing more time to gather wisdom and make sense of the world around us. A late bloomer is a person whose talents or capabilities are slower to develop and this term is used metaphorically to describe a child or adolescent who develops more slowly than others in their age group but eventually catches up and in some cases overtakes their peers in their academic achievement.

When a late bloomer finally gets it, there is a driving force because they have spent a long time digesting ideas, information and knowledge just to come up with some amazing solutions to the world's problems. Their ability are often conceptualize as static property that is hard-wired into the brain by genes that are prepackaged and ready to activate. When tapped, it bursts forth. However, this conception is far too simplistic.

Ability can take time to develop and the genes can take years to unfold. Genes are partly responsible for brain organization and the brain is not completely organized until well into adulthood. Like water to a flower, the environment plays a critical role in the activation of genes. In reality, talent emerges over the course of a lifetime of reciprocal interactions between the developing brain and a stimulating environment.

There are many theories of the way in which children develop as suggested by Erickson, Kohlberg, Piaget, Vygotsy and many others. Although they disagree about how stages of development should be defined and the primary influences on development, they agree that a child's development can be measured as a predictable series of advances in physical, intellectual and social skills which almost always occur in the same sequence, although the rate may vary from one child to another.

Late bloomers should always trust in their abilities to conquer the difficulties in ways that others can only dream of. Instant achievement is not always a fairytale come true. It may take a long time to get there but bets are, the late bloomers will know what they are doing far more than those who got there earlier. People will then have great confidence in the late bloomers’ experiences and knowledge for they have thought so deeply about everything and reached their own conclusions rather than parroting someone else's.

I am very proud my son is a late bloomer. Better be late than never.

Can we save the world?

The world’s population is rapidly increasing at the rate of about 80,000,000 per year and the current world population stands at 6.8 billion. In the developing world, more than 1.2 billion people currently live below the international poverty line, earning less than US$1 per day. The United Nations Development Program estimates that the basic health and nutrition needs of the world’s poorest people could be met for an additional $13 billion a year. Yet money spent on the Iraq and Afghanistan wars alone is over $970 billion!

More than an acre-and-a-half of rainforest is lost every second daily and at this rate of destruction, half our remaining rainforests will be gone by the year 2025, and by 2060 there will be no rainforests remaining. We are losing 137 plants, animal and insect species every single day due to deforestation. That equates to 50,000 species a year. Arctic ice is rapidly disappearing, and the region may have its first completely ice-free summer by 2040 or earlier. Polar bears and indigenous cultures are already suffering from sea-ice loss.

Looking at the world today, are we going to make it at all? We, human beings are destroying the very planet it lives on. Look at the world in its ravaged form… global warming, holes in the ozone layer, destruction of forests, industrial pollution, slavery, human trafficking, chemical poisoning… and the poor getting poorer despite intervention from NGOs.

Can you imagine this planet 50 years into the future from now if the human race was wiped out today? For one there will be no pollution, no greenhouse effect, no bulldozers and no nuclear bomb testing, no rapid destruction of rainforests, no billions of animals being killed every single day for food and fun. How will earth look like 50 years from now if all humans ceased to exist today? Now imagine how the planet will look like 50 years from now as we continue ravaging our mother earth, violating it and killing everything that comes on our way. Can you imagine? Can you see the difference? Are we going to survive at all?

Effective empowerment is vital

Empowerment is an extremely effective tool and vital element for developing people and the organization. It is to recognize that nobody knows a job better than the person doing it and that most people want to be involved and take pride in their work.

Empowering people encourages them to be more involved in their decisions and activities that affect their jobs. It gives them the opportunity to unleash their creativity and empower them to put their talents into practice.

The concept of empowerment involves employees playing a more active role in their work and taking responsibility for improvement. It is necessary to transform the way people work in any organization as external environment changes, and hence more intense competition abounds to a greater or lesser extent are being influenced and affected by competitive environment.

Make a conscientious effort to listen to what other people are saying. Empowered people are aware of the significance of listening and questioning. If you make a point to ask what people think and actively listen to what they say, you will help them to feel that they can contribute something of value to their work. Lead by example to prove yourself to be reliable. If you want them to be open, you will have to be honest and sincere with yourself first.

The Beatitude

The word "beatitude" means "blessedness." The expression held powerful meaning of "divine joy and perfect happiness" to the people who possess these inward qualities.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Is Jesus speaking of our spiritual condition of poverty and the acknowledgment of our need for God?

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Is Jesus referring to "those who mourn" as those who express deep sorrow over sin, or those who repent from their sins. The “comfort” refers to the forgiveness of sins and joy of eternal salvation?

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Is the meek those who submit to God's authority as Revelation 21:7 says God's children will "inherit all things."

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Is "hunger and thirst" speaking of a deep need and a driving passion to fill the soul's desire with compassion?

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Simply put, those who demonstrate mercy will receive mercy. Is this mercy shown through forgiveness and also by offering kindness and compassion toward others?

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Is Jesus referring to the inward holiness that only God can see? The Bible says in Hebrews 12:14 that without holiness, no man will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Reconciliation through Jesus Christ brings restored peace with God. Is God entrusts us with this same message of reconciliation to take to others as in 2 Corinthians 5:19-20?

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Just as Jesus faced persecution, are those living openly for righteousness and their faith genuine followers of Christ, worthy to receive the kingdom of heaven?

Law & Justice

There is a very diverse difference between justice and law. I believe that they have a few similarities but a different part to play in the legal system. Justice is like the ultimate goal that civilization has been aiming towards since the beginning of societies. The law is the tool we use as our process to find justice. Through the evolution of the law, our perspectives have changed. But have we really gotten closer to that ultimate “justice”? Or is it something that will always be just a little bit beyond our reach?

Law is a code that legalizes the behaviour of members of a society. It affects almost everything we do such as buying a property, getting a job, making a will or getting divorced. It also shapes politics, economics and society. It protects people, property and enforces consequences for those who break the rules.

Justice, on the other hand is generally understood to mean what is right, fair, moral, deserved. In addition justice is when a victim feels whole again or when an offender is held responsible for his behaviour.

Law does not always deliver justice but justice can differ according to a person’s point of view. Therefore, there is no way that law could accommodate all the people. The main difference between law and justice is all in the process. Law is the process and justice is the goal; no one escapes the long arm of the law but that does not mean that justice is served. Hence, one cannot afford to compromise when there is no guarantee in the justice system.

Suicide

Suicide is the act of deliberately taking one's own life. People who attempt suicide are often trying to get away from a life situation that seems impossible to deal with. Many who make a suicide attempt are seeking relief from loneliness, rejection, guilt and burden to others etc. Suicidal behaviors may be triggered by a situation or event that the person views as overwhelming such as aging, emotional trauma, substance dependency, serious clinical and mental illness.

Most people who seriously consider suicide do not really want to die, they are calling out for help to no avail. Hence, they see suicide as a solution to a problem and a way to end their pain. People who seriously consider suicide feel hopeless, helpless, and worthless. A person who feels hopeless believes that no one can help with a particular event or problem. A person who feels helpless is immobilized and unable to take steps to solve problems. A person who feels worthless is overwhelmed with a sense of personal failure.

The urge to end one’s life comes to the godliest of us. Both Jeremiah and Job wished they had never been born (Jeremiah 20:14-18; Job 3:1-23). Jonah, Elijah, and Moses not only wished they were dead, they asked God – some even pleaded with him – to kill them (Jonah 4:3,8,9; 1 Kings 19:4; Numbers 11:14). So did Job (Job 6:8-9; 14:13). Jesus feels for everyone suffering this devastating oppression. The exalted Son of God knows and understands. Thus, the question is will God forgive someone for committing suicide? I believe so if He is truly a God of love, mercy and compassion.

Relatives of people who seriously attempt or complete suicide often blame themselves or become extremely angry, seeing the attempt or act as selfish. However, when people are suicidal, they often mistakenly believe that they are doing their friends and relatives a favor by taking themselves out of the world. These irrational beliefs often drive their behavior.

Binding love

Many people are seeking help finding for love. Often they have a track record of failed relationships and bad choices that seems inexplicable.

Although whom we fall in love with and why are unfathomable, all too often a pattern emerges. For when we searching for that special something in someone else, we are often looking for something very different: a missing part of ourselves. Of course, finding the missing capacities in someone else can be massively relieving and allow you to glow in pseudo-spiritual state of being madly in love. As time goes by, reality begins to set in. the rest of your beloved’s personality comes to the fore and you find that maybe they are not such a match for your missing bit after all. When the passion dies away, you are left with what you started, still missing that essential element of yourself than should be part of you, not projected out onto someone else.

Many times, part of the mystery of love is that we do find a part of ourselves in the ones we love. However, if we depend on someone else to feel whole and without them, something vital is missing from our very being, then we are indulging in a thrilling, romantic and all consuming fantasy that will remain incomplete. What more, it is always in a grave danger of being shattered.

Bibliotherapy

Bibliotherapy is a kind of therapy achieved through the use books or other types of literature. Self-help books are the most common form of bibliotherapy and the obvious value in that it provides the opportunity for the participants to recognize and understand themselves, their characteristics and the complexity of human thought and behavior. It may also promote social development as well as the love of literature in general and reading in particular. It reduces feelings of isolation that may be felt by people with problems. It generally refers to the use of literature to help people cope with emotional problems, mental illness or difficulties in their lives and produce affective changes.

By providing literature relevant to their personal situations and developmental needs at a suitable time, bibliotherapy practitioners attempt to help people of all ages to understand themselves and to cope with problems such as separation and divorce, child abuse, foster care, and adoption. The use of literature can be used to help people cope with emotional problems and mental illnesses that have occurred in their lives. As a result of the change, it promotes personality and developmental growth. Reading related books often helps and the discussion and follow-up activities are what makes bibliotherapy commanding. The key is to find quality literature where the main character is experiencing problems similar to those of the participants.

The underlying of bibliotherapy is that clients identify with literary characters similar to themselves, an association that helps the clients release emotions, gain new directions in life, and explore new ways of interacting. Quality is important because if the story is not credible to the reader, neither will the solutions be. Whichever is the approach, bibliotherapy requires careful planning as it seeks to help clients respond directly to the materials they are given, so that change is effected through catharsis, insight, provide information, stimulate discussion about problems, communicate new values and attitudes, create awareness that other people have similar problems and provide realistic solutions to problems.

However, the effectiveness of bibliotherapy may be limited by the availability of materials on certain topics, as well as the lack of client ability, readiness and willingness to read. They may also project their own motives onto characters and thus reinforce their own perceptions and solutions.

Why are we stressful?

Every one of us is familiar with stress as we experience it in varying forms and degrees every day. In small doses, stress can actually be beneficial to us. It is only when the stress becomes too great that it affects our physical or mental functioning. In small doses, stressors gives us increased energy and alertness, even helping to keep us focused on the problem at hand. This is likely t be a pumped up type of stressful feeling. However, as the level of pressure gets too great, stress may eventually surpasses our ability to cope with it in a positive way resulting in severe burned out or at our wits end.

Everyone reacts to stress differently. Each of us has a different level of pressure threshold to handle a bad outcome. Only we ourselves can assess our level of tolerance to stressful situations and seek the best treatment prevent it from getting too overwhelming. However, this is not always possible because the external stressors may often be beyond our control.

If we are able to identify the source of our stress and remove it or address the situation, that may significantly resolve some negative vibes and anxiety. Even if we are only able to get away for a few seconds or minutes, the break is important and can help you on the way to a more permanent solution. The break may well stop a provoking situation or mentally removing yourself from the stressor through a mental distraction. The point of these actions is to allow us a moment to relax and formulate a plan for dealing with the problem at hand. Just having a plan can be a great stress reliever. It gives us a set of positive steps that you can work on to get yourself back to your baseline and out of the stressful situation. Well, but it’s all easier said than done. Why are we stressful? Sometimes we wonder why too....

Rainbow after the rain

After the rain, water molecules reflect the sunlight and the effect of the colour raising up to the sky is a rainbow. Rainbow after the rain is often used to describe the positive result after going through tough and difficult times. In hard times of hurt, frustration of life, discouraging experience and life with full of adversity, struggle everywhere and unending passage of different stages of life battle. How long can it go on in life? I came across this poem below and indeed, no life is in vain for there is always rainbow after the rain.

God never promise us a good life on earth; but He gave the assurance that there will always be a rainbow after the rain.

Life on earth is not always what we expected and wanted it to be. But if we can put our trust in God, He can sail us through definitely.

God never let us bear what is impossible; and He makes sure what we bear is thelimit that we can take without much difficulty.

After the rain, things will be changed; everything on earth seems to be new and clean. With these renew scenario, we should be:

a more positive and courageous person as indicated by the RED of the rainbow;

a creative, thoughtful and joyful person as indicated by the ORANGE of the rainbow;

a confident, intelligent and logical person as indicated by the YELLOW of the rainbow;

a renewed, generous and practical person as indicated by the GREEN of the rainbow;

a peaceful, sincere and responsible person as indicated by the BLUE of the rainbow;

a relaxed, devoted and wise person as indicated by the INDIGO of the rainbow;

a spiritual and idealistic person as indicated by the VIOLET of the rainbow.

Peace on earth by U2

Heaven on Earth, we need it now
I'm sick of all of this hanging around
Sick of sorrow, sick of the pain I'm sick of hearing again and again

That there's gonna be peace on Earth
Where I grew up there weren't many trees
Where there was we'd tear them down
And use them on our enemies

They say that what you mock
Will surely overtake you
And you become a monster
So the monster will not break you
And it's already gone too far

You say that if you go in hard
You won't get hurt Jesus can you take the time
To throw a drowning man a line
Peace on Earth

Tell the ones who hear no sound
Whose sons are living in the ground
Peace on Earth

No whos or whys
No one cries like a mother cries
For peace on Earth

She never got to say goodbye
To see the colour in his eyes
Now he's in the dirt
Peace on Earth

They're reading names out over the radio
All the folks the rest of us won't get to know Sean and Julia, Gareth, Ann, and Breda
Their lives are bigger than any big idea

Jesus can you take the time
To throw a drowning man a line Peace on Earth

To tell the ones who hear no sound
Whose sons are living in the ground
Peace on Earth Jesus and the song you wrote

The words are sticking in my throat
Peace on Earth

Hear it every Christmas time
But hope and history won't rhyme
So what's it worth
This peace on Earth
Peace on Earth
Peace on Earth

Why do people gossip?

There isn't much to be seen in a little seminary, but what you hear makes up for it. Gossip has no value except what lies in the activity itself and the achievement of external ends in hurting others. People who indulge in gossip do not ponder deeply on the content or consequences of what they say. Do these people use their brain? Most of the time, it is talk for the sake of talking. Aldous Hugley described a gossip as a “professional athlete of the tongue”.

Since the typical content of gossip is usually behind-the-scenes, intimate information, it is indeed hard to verify it. With the lack of substantiation, the element of gossip is a byproduct of the confidential nature of the information conveyed. This unsubstantiated characteristic then become more typical of rumors or slander. Moreover, gossiping and spreading rumors is essentially a derogatory connotation of hearsay and by large due to the failure to distinguish the truth.

Gossip satisfies the basic need to acquire information about the personal and intimate aspects of other people's lives although one may be ignorant about how difficult it works in others’ lives. Gossip satisfies a tribal need, namely the need to belong to and be accepted by an uncharitable group of people. The sharing of intimate and personal information and the intimate manner of conveying this information contribute to the formation of an exclusive group with intimate and emotional ties between its members. They enjoy gossiping because it revolves around information not yet widely known and therefore “intriguing”! The negative information, generally concerns people who are not there to hear it, much like criticizing people behind their backs.

Gossip and rumour express insensitivity toward other people and indifference toward their feelings. The enjoyable and interesting elements in gossiping stem not merely from acquiring novel information but also from the content of this information e.g. the sexual life of a priest makes for juicier gossip and more intense sensation than the exploits of a prostitute!!! In most cases, gossiping and slandering exaggerate or distort information. It also shows the emotional intelligence of those who loves to gossip. How sad when gossiping and slandering is part of a person’s life. Indeed, how fruitful and authentic can his life be?

Providence of God

The providence of God does not alleviate us of any responsibilities. God works through means such as integrity, hard work, obedience and faithfulness of the people. The providence of God does not relieve us of the need to make wise judgments or to be prudent. On the other hand, it does ease us of anxiety in God’s promise. “If God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith?” (Mt. 6:30). Rather than being a cause for self-indulgence, compromise, rebellion or any other sin, the doctrine of providence is actually a sure ground for trust and a spur to faithfulness. Amen

Dealing with disappointment

Career, education, relationships, friendships, family, finances, health... there are so many area of life that we are bound to experience disappointment at some time. What exactly is the cause of this apparent universal phenomenon? Is it something in the outside world or something within us? Why do some of us seem to bounce back quickly from disappointment while others descend into resentment, anger or even depression? Most importantly, how can we use disappointment constructively to learn more about ourselves and life?

The chief cause of disappointment may well lies in having unrealistic expectations. Has optimism in some way become the flipside of expectations that reinforce inconsistency with external reality? How can we keep our desires consistent with external realities? Everyone wants good health, radiant look, pretty face, excellent grade, great relationship and strong financial security but only a handful actually has all these stuffs. It is easy to develop certain expectations based on characteristics that supposedly run in the family like being academic achievers, sports-orientated, genetic good looker and so on. Can these really instill a sense of entitlement that generates into disappointment when reality does not measure up? I believe so, because I am disappointment with failure that others simply may not dwell too much in it but I am until I bounce back into reality….. sigh…..

Someday it might

Read this article and found it thought provoking... someday it might... someday it might... and when that day come, it will be a sad day indeed.

Not long after Rich Salazar moved to DeKalb, Illinois from California, he found himself knocking at the door of St. Mary's Church. The then-college student had recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was in crisis mode. Unable to reach his mother at work and not knowing where else to go, Salazar told himself, "I have to go to church."

Father William Schwartz answered his knocks and although the parish was closed for the evening, invited him in. This priest called his mother and told her he could stay at the church as long as he needed. "He talked to me, calmed me down," Salazar says. "He was very kind. I told him the church has never let me down."

That's when Father Schwartz responded, "Someday it might."