Friends are forever

You know some people who have "never met a stranger" and these are people who make friends wherever they go. I reckon I am one of those people who can talk to people easily and I am approachable when I choose to be. Making real friends? Those youthful days of meeting someone and being BFFs within hours are behind me. These days I am slow and guarded to discern between friends and acquaintances.

Making new friends is not easy at mid life. New friends are unlikely to come knocking at your door; you must get out and interact with people but you may even feel sluggish going out for a meal, drink or party, not to mention meeting strangers. However, I am fortunate to be able to make new friends who are witty and nice and able to give me the emotional support that I sometimes need.

Like first dates, the early stages of new friendship can be awkward and uncomfortable. This is not a reflection on you, the other person or the potential for friendship. It is just the way it is. One way to mitigate this is to do things together other than just meeting for a meal. Go to a movie, an art festival, just anything except just sitting and gazing into each others' eyes. Talk about society and we won't be tempted to over share personal stuff and perhaps overwhelm the other person. Relationship takes time to cultivate and it may takes years... but with a different degrees of intimacy and trust, real friendship can take place within a short frame of time.

Some of my most gratifying new friendships are people I knew long ago but with whom I lost touch. Thanks to Facebook that connect me with some long lost friends. Our shared memories are very fulfilling. In some cases, these were not actually friends in the past, but they are friends of a life time. These are not just about friendship but relationship as well.

Real friends are difficult to come by. If you meet someone with friend potential, make an effort to spend time with that person. Friendship is collective. If the friendship is meant to be, that gratifying connection will happen eventually. Some friendships just don't click. That is not a reflection on anyone. We need the connection to make it work. Nobody is a failure when friendships fail to take. Cut your losses, skip the self-flagellation, and move on to the next interesting person.

Friends are friends forever, acquaintances are not.