Wednesday, January 21, 2009

An Atrocity - The Khmer Rouge Regime

The oppression and exploitation of Khmer Rouge regime is filled with cruelty and inhumanity action. Even after the fall of the regime, all survivors struggled to start their lives anew but it was difficult till this very day. It is impossible to prevent the psychological trauma, fear and horror from permeating their daily lives. The trauma of the genocide extends more than thirty years as the memories of witnessing the horrors haunted the very core of the victims, children of survivors and even the perpetrators of the crime. No one in Cambodia was left untouched by a genocide that killed almost 25% of the entire population. For more thirty years, no formal justice system has been established to bring those leaders of the sadistic Khmer Rouge regime to trial.

Although the Khmer Rouge ended with the Vietnamese invasion of Phnom Penh, the Khmer Rouge’s policies of forced collectivization and social reconstructivism left behind a legacy that lingered long after its demise and a vastly uneducated and unskilled society, a displaced and traumatized nation, a population of widow and children and a country with landmines that even today continue to maim and kill. Worst of all, it left behind a legacy far from over that will likely to take generations to heal. Viciousness of this nature should not return into the Angkor territory as in any part of the world.

In short, the following best describe the instances of despair and hopelessness that tear the lives of the people then.

"No religious rituals, no religious symbols, no fortune tellers, no traditional healers, no paying respects to elders, no social status, no titles

No education, no training, no school, no learning, no science, no technology, no pens, no paper

No currency, no battering, no buying, no selling, no begging, no giving, no purses, no wallets

No human rights, no liberty, no courts, no judges, no laws, no attorneys

No communications, no public transportation, no private transportation, no traveling, no mailing, no inviting, no visiting, no faxes, no telephones

No social gatherings, no chitchatting, no jokes, no laughter, no music, no dancing

No romance, no flirting, no fornication, no dating, no wet dreaming, no masturbating, no naked sleepers, no bathers, no nakedness in showers, no love songs, no love letters, no affection

No marrying, no divorcing, no marital conflicts, no fighting, no profanity, no cursing

No shoes, no sandals, no toothbrushes, no razors, no combs, no mirrors, no lotion, no make up, no long hair, no braids, no jewellery, no soap, no detergent, no shampoo, no knitting, no embroidering, no colored clothes except black, no styles except pajamas, no wine, no palm sap hooch, no lighters, no cigarettes, no morning coffee, no afternoon tea, no snacks, no desserts, no breakfast, sometimes no dinner

No mercy, no forgiveness, no regret, no remorse, no second chances, no excuses, no complaints, no grievances, no help, no favours, no eyeglasses, no dental treatment, no vaccines, no medicines, no hospitals, no doctors, no disabilities, no social diseases, no tuberculosis, no leprosy

No kites, no marbles, no rubber bands, no cookies, no popsicle, no candy, no playing, no toys, no lullabies, no rest, no vacations, no holidays, no weekends, no games, no sports, no staying up late, no newspapers

No radio, no TV, no drawing, no painting, no pets, no pictures, no electricity, no lamp oil, no clocks, no watches

No hope, No life. A third of the people didn’t survive. The regime died." – Sarith Powin

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Gossiping and slandering are malicious

Gossip and rumours are simply “pure poison”. They often have the power to hurt not only the person who is the object of the gossip, but also the listener who believes the gossip. Gossip, in its most malicious form is attacking a person in a forum in which he/she is not present to defend himself/herself. In its more restrained form, gossip can be defined as sharing detrimental information with others who are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution. Gossiping and rumours stem from an evil motive to hurt the person that is being talked about and mold the truth into something entirely different.

Why must people evolve into a society that rejoices at making others their scapegoat in order to take their thoughts off their own downfalls? Can the human race learn to stop hurting others and start creating more beauty and love with words? How sad it is when gossips creates rumours and take on a life of their own…..What is most unfortunate and sad is that those very people who proclaim their love for God often indulge in gossiping and slandering without a blink of an eye. Where are their conscience and what happen to their moral and ethic values? Flush down the toilet bowl? I wonder????????

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Last Lecture

"The Last Lecture" was written by Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carneige Mellon after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The lecture he gave - "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" wasn't about dying, it's about living - the importance of overcoming obstacles, enabling the dreams of others, seizing every moment because time is all you have and one day you may find that you have less than you think. In his book and talk, Randy Pausch combined the humour, inspiration and intelligence that made his lecture such a phenomenon and it is definitely a book that will be shared for generations to come. Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university on 18th September 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. He lost his battle with pancreatic cancer on 25th July 2008. If you love to read... it is a MUST read, otherwise watch this video (1 hr 16 mins) and BE INSPIRED! The video has been viewed more than 8.4 million times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Anne Frank's House


For those of us who have read about the Holocaust, The Rise of Evil - Hitler and The Diary of Anne Frank, the visit to Anne Frank's House in Amsterdam is not just about historical facts. It is filled with emotional and provoking thoughts.

When the Holocaust ended in 1945, Hitler's racist ideas had ended in genocide and the Nazi had killed six million Jews. In her diary, Anne Frank posed difficult questions. Why is there war? Why are Jewish people hated and discriminated? What is the importance of being cared and caring for others? What is freedom to you?

A fight, a bully, an accident, an injustice, someone in a difficult situation needing a helping hand..... What will you do? Everyday we are confronted with such dilemmas. Some affect us personally and some are so huge that it is hard to know what to do. Do you walk by or do you stop and help? What does it make you feel? Standing up is not always easy but what if you were the one in need of help?

Who is right and who is wrong? What is freedom to you? To be able to speak the truth, to admit your mistakes, to lay down your life for others? Why do some people judge others on their colour, age, sex, religion etc? We do stereotype people and make snap judgment based on little details. Isn't it stupid? Yes, we are all victim of society but that is no excuse for violence and revenge.

Anne Frank wrote in her diary on 6th July 1944... "We are all alive but we don't know why or what for; we are all searching for happiness; we are all leading lives which are different and yet the same."

Today, people are still being persecuted and murdered because they, like Anne Frank are not only "different" but also "want to be". Obviously, there are elements in the diary that are universally recognizable by both the young and old of this generation. Otto Frank, 1967 ...."To build up a future, you have to know the past" but why did people allow history to repeat itself even in this present age? Why are there still so much discrimination, prejudice, war, social injustices, self righteous etc? These make the visit to The Anne Frank's House meaningful even in our times. The Secret Annex - a story of unimaginable horror but also one of great courage indeed gave me more courage and the conviction that to live an authentic and fulfilling life, love and courage is what we need the most.

Monday, December 1, 2008

A glimpse of hope

“Well done is better than well said” – Benjamin Franklin

We live in a world characterized by instability, terrorism, materialism and WORDS WITHOUT ACTIONS. You may have a wealth of knowledge today but if you don't do anything about it, you are not any more effective or enlightened than you were last week. Unless knowledge, awareness, insights, and understandings are translated into action, they are of no value. There is no value in just saying you understand, aware, sympathize if you are not acting on it and what matters is to act rightly.

I have never been particularly impressed by the heroics of some people who are convinced that they are about to change the world through violence. I am more overwhelmed by those individuals who struggle to make one small difference after another.

Mother Teresa lived in poverty among the poorest of the poor and believed that to know the poor; you must live like the poor, with them and be like them. Sympathy and empathy is just the ability to identify with another’s feeling and putting oneself emotionally not physically in the place of the suffering. No good will ever come out of sympathy and empathy if they are not put into action.

In the special report section of the Straits Times dated 29th November 2008; dedicated to awareness of AIDS, there was an article about Fr Giovanni Contarin from the Order of Camillian who devoted his life to care for HIV patients both the very young and old, many abandoned by their family. He lives up to his religious vow to take care of people even when there is the danger of death. His words “Entering the world of suffering of the sick and elderly touched me very much and helped me to discover the divine in human suffering.” Yes, entering is the word, not just by-passing and I totally agreed and convinced that one can only discover and encounter the divine in human suffering. Try looking for God in the rich, famous and powerful or in the church and among clergy, you probably have to go on for 40 years on desert land.


Fr Giovanni’s word brought to mind Fr Michael Mohally of the Missionaries Society of St Columban who has worked among the poorest in Cambodia for many years. When I met him in Singapore some years back, he told me that words and feelings have no value at all. You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines, whimpering, complaining, sympathizing or even emphasizing. Turning it over in your mind won't plough the field; it’s just waiting for the cows to come home. Men must not only see, feel and believe. They must act, and act righteously not foolishly. Words without the right actions are the assassins of idealism.


It brings comfort to know that there are still a handful of clergy and religious who live up to their vocation and vows selflessly, faithfully and virtously.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Difference between greatness and mediocrity

"No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated and disciplined." - Harry E. Fosdick

Passion and courage are the driving force that allows us to share our life with a committed sense of mission. It is our fervent faith and conviction that enable us to inspire, captivate and motivate others to embrace our cause, ideas, and vision. Self-discipline (strength of will and mind) is the key to personal greatness. It is the magic quality that opens all doors for you and makes everything else possible. With self-discipline, the average person can rise as far and as fast as his talents and intelligence can take him. But without it, a person with every blessing of background, education and opportunity will not be able to rise above mediocrity.

Everyone can choose from two roads in life. One is the broad, well-travelled road to mediocrity and the other is the road to greatness and meaning. The range of possibilities that exists within these two destinations is as wide as the diversity of gifts and personalities in a person. The contrast between the two destinations is like heaven and earth, night and day.

The path to mediocrity straitjackets human potential. The path to greatness unleashes human potential. The path to mediocrity is the quick-fix, short-cut approach to life. The path to greatness is a process of sequential growth from the inside out. Travellers on the lower path to mediocrity live out of ego, indulgence, scarcity, comparison and competitiveness. Travellers on the upper path to greatness rise above negative cultural influences and choose to become the creative force of their
lives.

Being effective as individuals is no longer optional in today’s world. It is the price of entry to the playing field. But surviving, thriving, innovating, excelling and leading in this new reality will require us to build on and reach beyond effectiveness. The call and need of a new era is for greatness and that called for courage, truthfulness, passion and significant contribution.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The perfect murder

The Ice Man - Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer, by Philip Carlo describe even the very minute details of the most morbid account of Richard Kuklinski’s killing spree. He was one of the most diabolical self-confessed contract killers in American history taking credit for over 200 murders.

Richard Kuklinski was born to Stanley and Anna Kuklinski. Stanley was a severely abusive alcoholic who beat his wife and children. Anna was also abusive to her children probably resulting from her own abusive childhood. When Richard was 5 years old, he witnessed the beating of his older brother, Florian resulting in his death. Stanley and Anna hid the cause of the child's death from the authorities, saying he had fallen down a flight of steps. By the age of 10, Richard was filled with rage and began acting out. For a start, he would torture animals and by the age of 14, he had committed his first murder. Although he was dyslexic, Richard had no problem reading True Crime magazines about criminals, upon which he based his actions.

He lived a double life as a dedicated family man and cold blooded hit man but he would never kill woman and children. Over a period of forty-three years, he killed numerous people, either by gun, strangulation, knife, or poison. He favored the use of cyanide since it killed quickly and was hard to detect in a toxicology test. He would variously administer it by injection, putting it on a person's food, by aerosol spray, or by simply spilling it on the victim's skin. One of his favorite methods of disposing of a body was to place it in a 55-gallon oil drum. His other disposal methods included dismemberment, burial, freezing the body or placing it in the trunk of a car and having it crushed in a junkyard. He left bodies sitting on park benches, thrown bodies down "bottomless pits" and fed alive victims to giant rats in caves in Pennsylvania.

What struck me most is that Richard didn’t seem remorseful about the people he killed per se but he was genuinely upset and sorry that it affected his family after his arrest. If his childhood was filled with love… would he be capable of such multiple atrocities? When he was asked what he would like to say for the ending of his story, he said:” I’d rather be known as a nice man, not the Ice man. I was made. I didn’t create myself. I never chose to be this way, to be in this place. Yeah, I for sure wish my life took another turn, that I had an education and a good job, but none of that was in the cards for me”.


100 billion cells make up the brain that communicates electrically with 1,000 trillion neural connections at up to 250 miles per hour. This sparking of electrical power creates man’s personality and behaviour. Human being has an armory of instincts to help him/her stay alive and violence certainly has an enormous impact that will reshape one’s life and give rise to evil. What is inside the mind of Kuklinski and Hitler and Stalin……?Alas, it is truly difficult to understand the power and complexity of the brain.

Believe it or not, I actually felt sorry for him. Without doubt, Kuklinski is another victim of society. Personally, I view his life as a classic case of a severely abused child, filled with seething rage, becoming an abuser and turning into a remorseless killer. What a sad, sad way to live......

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My failure as a mother

To be a good mother was my greatest desire 20 years ago. From the first moments of knowing that I was going to be a mum, I wanted only the best for my daughter. I had no idea how I was going to do it but I knew that I would not settle for anything less than being a good mum. I would not let her suffer or go through what I went through in my childhood. It didn't take me long to realize that being a mum was the most difficult job I have ever done.

Then my son came along after five years. I have worked hard at being the best mum that I can be...to love my children...to teach them how to love and be grateful…to trust and love God above all. The painful part is in spite of how much I love them, I have also let them down.

Being a mum has made me appreciate my own mother. I realize all the heartaches and love that went into raising me and that she did the best that she knew how to do at that time and era. Yes, she has let me down and failed at times. I wasn’t the most loved child, in fact I received no love from her in my early years. Learning from her mistakes, all I want is to love and protect my children at all cost; provide and give them the best within my means and ability. But no, I have not been the perfect mother and yes, I have failed my children.

I strive to be a good mother but motherhood is not easy at all. Despite loving them unconditionally, I failed to understand simply how to be a good mother... not to mention the best. I do not know how to love them the way they want, how to protect them, how to emphasize and feel their pain in a very personal way. I have done many things in my life perfectly but I as a mum, I have failed. Is there such a thing as a perfect mother?

Friday, October 24, 2008

Letting go

Letting go and letting God…we hear it all the time, but only a few of us really live our lives this way and the truth is that it’s easier said than done. Is it so simple to let go of the uncontrollable and unchangeable in life? Surely I am not responsible to affect a change or correct a problem which is beyond my competency, power and authority. That’s an obvious fact. Of course, I can start being rational about what I can and cannot do, be realistic and accepting my powerlessness…. but a mother’s pain doesn’t heal and never fade away. It hurts and some days more badly.

When I was young, often time I sat and wondered how and why my mother always sit and ponder. Eyes and stare so far as if she has the whole world to bear. Her struggles, she endures. Hiding her pain and acting strong. Finally, now I understand…. my children’s hurt can turn my life painfully upside down. A sword has pierced my heart, the bleeding never stop. What else can I do but to pray for God’s grace to let me walk in faith. Having seen God’s faithfulness over and over, I will enter God’s rest and place my trust in Him.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

What is integrity?

Integrity is one of the most important and oft-cited of virtue terms. Many philosophers have been particularly interested to understand what it is for a person to exhibit integrity throughout his/her life. What is it to be a person of integrity? A virtue either motivates a person to act in desirable ways as benevolence moves a person to act for another's good or it enables a person to act in desirable ways as courage enables a person to act well. If integrity is no more than maintenance of identity, however, it can play neither of these roles. On the identity view of integrity, to act with integrity is just to act in a way that accurately reflects your sense of who you are; to act from motives, interests and commitments that’s certainly more an intrinsic desires than anything else.

Integrity determines beforehand what we will be regardless of the circumstances. Integrity is the 'decision maker' between being happy and being fragmented. It frees us to be a whole person no matter what comes our way. Socrates said "The key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be" and he can’t be more right.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Presence not presents

Children need our presence not our presents. It is important for parents to spend time with their children and not just buying them things to show them that they are present. The best gifts I receive are tokens of love and concern from those I care about and those who care about me. Often the gift of time is the best present of all. Parents communicate the values to children by giving time, by our presence, by giving ourselves, not just presents.

Is brain death still life?

In 1968, Harvard Medical School changed the definition of death. It no longer based on cardiac and circulatory arrest but on a flat electroencephalogram. Electroencephalography is useful but not essential in determining brain death. It amounted to a radical change in the conception of death. The Catholic Church has also implicitly accepted this definition of death but with many reservations.

The scientific justification lies in the definition of the nervous system that casts doubt precisely on the fact that the brain causes the disintegration of the body. Since then, the organ indicative of death is the brain, no longer the heart. Before the invention of life-support systems, brain death always led quickly to death of the body. With new technology patients who were dead could still have a heartbeat and gave the false impression that they were very much alive while kept on a ventilator, giving hope to grieving families that the person may suddenly wake up. This false hope sometimes prevents their families from donating their organs but it may also be prompted by a specific interest i.e. the need for organs transplants.

Hence, ethical considerations are crucial to defining criteria for brain death, which in most countries must be met before efforts to extend life may be ended. Such criteria include deep coma with a known cause, absence of any brainstem functions and the exclusion of hypothermia, drugs, and poison as causes. Organ donors must therefore be declared brain-dead before their organs may be removed for transplant. These considerations obviously give rise to new bioethical problems for the Catholic Church. An interesting question is when can life support be legally end and who will play God? Although this is one of life's most painful experiences, it also can be a rich time of expressions of love and gratitude.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Law and justice

The law, alone and aloof by its very nature has no access to the pain and suffering of the victims just as it does not have the passion that might justify the cruel act of murder, rape and abuses. The legal mind is always thinking of law never of love. The legal mind thinks of justice but never of compassion. The legal minds and the criminal minds are two sides of the same coin. All legal minds are basically criminal and all criminal minds have the potential to become outstanding legal mind. So, where is the justice?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Can a leopard change its spots?

Everyone wants to become a better person. The difficult part is not wanting to be better, it is whether a leopard can change its spots or not and getting motivated to expand the list of positive attributes. You can have all the desire in the world to change and become a better person but when it comes down to doing it, it is often a different story.

A leopard cannot change its spots just as a tiger cannot change its stripes. I believe they are quite contented as they are. One cannot change one’s essential and basic nature. This metaphoric expression originated in an ancient Greek proverb that appears in Jeremiah 13:23 "Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil."

Which brings us back to the original question: can a leopard change its spots? No, the only spot the leopard can change is its position! Anyway, it is not the leopard's spots that one needs to worry about… it’s the jaws and teeth.

Where to find angry and bitter people

Henri Nouwen once remarked that he found it curious that many of the people he knew who were very angry and bitter were people he had met in church circles and places of ministry. How sad, how disgraceful, how disappointing and how true……

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A rescue or a redemption

How can a loving, merciful and powerful God allow so much suffering and evil in our world? This is by far the most difficult spiritual question throughout the ages. Where is God when bad things happen and why didn’t God act in the face of suffering? There have been countless attempts to answer this question and even more attempts to offer some kind of acceptable theoretical explanation. In reality God is able to stop all the innocent suffering and evils in the world. However, what is at stake is the free will He gives us and in His magnitude, respects and refuses to violate it even when it would seem beneficial to do so. Free will gives us the possibility of changing or destroying the world. Is this free will one of God’s greatest regret?

Fundamentally, dogmatic theology taught that God is not so much a rescuing God but a redeeming one. The Almighty Father did not save Jesus from death on the cross but allows him to die and then raises him up again. God doesn’t necessarily intervene and rescue us from suffering, evil and death; instead he redeems our suffering afterwards. Ultimately, is this what we want? A rescue or a redemption? Do you think those who are suffering will prefer to have the tangible rescue or accept God’s silent and absence and trusting that in the end all will be well and our pain will someday be redeemed in God’s embrace. Where are you, God?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Be the change you want to see in the world

Be the change you want to see in the world….. and I wonder, is it true? If you were to be that change, will the world actually change or are you just being hopelessly naive? Gandhi said “you must be the change you want to see in the world” and he did it. He was a revolutionary man who was able to accomplish India’s emergence as a nation without starting a revolution. He advocated no violence and atrocity and India was transformed because of the commitment of one man that made the dream of millions came true.

What change can we effect? What's the difference we want to make in the world? The concern is that not everyone bothers about the world enough to want to change it. That is the selfish nature of men. I live for myself and what I have is mine alone. There is no need to bother about the rest of the world, for what can the world give me that I myself cannot get. This is evident everywhere, there is a lack of committed volunteers worldwide, the lack of funds given to non-profit organizations and right down to the measly salary given to workers in such organizations as compared to those in the corporate sector. Why do people not recognize that the world needs them as much as they need the world?


All significant change throughout history has occurred not because of nations, militaries, governments and certainly not even the United Nations. They happened as a result of the courage and commitment of individuals. People like Joan of Ark, St Francis of Assisi, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and Mother Teresa. They might not have done it alone, but they were, without question, the “change” makers in the sense that they believe that they can and will make a difference.

The genesis for change is awareness. We cannot change what we don’t acknowledge as wrong, immoral or not working. What we can do is to follow Roosevelt's timeless advice, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."

Maybe what I'm looking for is not change, just continuity. To carry on the works that others have done in the hope of making the world a better place to live and to love our neighbours as in the parable of “The Good Samaritan”. Yeah, we don't need the changes. We just need a storm and an ark to shake the world in a gentle way. But who is going to build the ark? Where is Noah? And I am not referring to Evan Almighty!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Heaven and hell on earth

We are created for a very simple, beautiful and wonderful life… that’s an ideology but in truth, life is but a paradox. We have to accept in humility that there are millions of things which we cannot understand or simply on the grounds that we are unable to comprehend them.

What is the purpose of my life? All the trials and tribulations, pains and sufferings… am I suppose to accept it not as a curse or punishment but a gift with a very specific purposes? Can I view my life as a challenge, a testing ground for faith, trust and hope? With unconditional love, one will not be afraid of the windstorms of life. Unfortunately, it may not be just a drizzle but a typhoon that devastates your whole being. We make our own heaven or hell…. yet sometimes it only takes one person to create a living hell for us.

The society in which we live has shredded me to pieces. Why did God allow free will that man could be either Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde? We see the inhumanity of man in which each one of us is capable of becoming a Nazi monster yet at the end of the other spectrum, we also have the ability to become a Mother Teresa. Alas…. life is too taxing at this moment. Sometimes I smile and most of the times I cry….

Monday, October 6, 2008

I am sad

Sorrow is a part of our existence. Even the best among us cannot escape feeling sad at times. I am feeling very sad today.......

What is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of life? Is it the meaning of being human or the meaning of life to each individual living it? If we're all going to be dead in the end anyway, what difference does it make as to what we do with our lives? Does the finality of death make life meaningless? Perhaps it is better to talk about its significance, authenticity, importance, rather than meaning itself. Human beings could choose their ends with the sovereignty to define their own meaning for their lives. Even if there no answer to the question of meaning of life, there is still the need to get through day to day. People who believe in God could still find their lives meaningless while on the other hand, atheists who have significant missions and relationships could feel their lives overflowing with meaning. What does meaning mean? Throughout the centuries, different philosophers have different answers. Existentialists find no meaning in life. Wittgenstein reckoned the question itself is meaningless. To the Darwinians, the meaning of life is evolution and more life. Perhaps the question is not so much about the meaning of life, but about living it….“How should I live?” and finding something beyond to discover an answer. If we ask the question “How to live life to the fullest?”, we probably get a whole new lot of answers.