The Widow's mite

Have you ever heard a sermon about the “widow’s mite” and her generosity as a giver or have you ever explored that theme in an exhortation to others about the imperative of “sacrificial” giving?

The story of the widow's gift to the Temple of her last two coins (Mk 12:41-44 & Luke 21:1-4) described a beautiful act in the desert of official devotion and almost universally is seen as some kind of observation on the measuring of gifts, or as an exhortation to “give till it hurts”, or as an example of some virtue to be acquired. Yet, apart from the text, if any one of us were actually to see in real life a poor widow giving the very last of her money to religion, would we not judge the act to be repulsive and to be based on misguided piety because she would be neglecting her own needs? Do we really think that Jesus would have reacted otherwise? Do we really think that he would have enthused over such a donation?

The range of exegetical opinion of the Widow’s mite is amazing. The point of Jesus' commendation is that the true measure of gifts is not how much is given but how much the gift represents and that the true measure of gifts is the self-denial involved and the cost of it for the giver. It is not the amount which one gives that matters but the spirit in which the gift is given specify self-offering, unquestioning surrender, total commitment, loyalty and devotion to God's call, gratitude, generosity, humility and unobtrusiveness, trust in God to provide for one's needs and lastly detachment from possessions.

The moral of the story is that alms and other pious gifts should correspond with one's means. All that Jesus says is: “She gave more . . . for they all contributed out of their abundance but she out of her want has put in everything she had, her whole living.” Presumably Jesus is implying that the widow gave more because her gift was a sacrifice. It is gratuitous to say that it is not the amount but the spirit accompanying the gift which makes the difference. When Jesus tells the story of the widow giving her only two pennies, he never actually praises her. He never actually makes a value judgement over her great sacrifice. Most Christians have always assumed that Jesus is praising this widow for her gift, and that he intends his disciples to take a lesson on Christian giving from her story. He just says, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those contributing to the treasury.” Sure, she gave out of her poverty, they out of their wealth. But Jesus never says “be like her,” he just says don’t be like the scribes. We should remember that men's offerings are not to be reckoned at their outward value but only by the motive of the heart.

Not only today do we find the widow's action painful but are we actually empowered by God to serve the needs of those who most need help? That's the challenge that the story of the widow's mite puts before us. Let us dedicate our offerings to the mission that Christ has set before us which is a people-centered mission. A mission that directs our resources, money as well as time and talents to that which matters the most…people in need!

Why do people fall in love?

Love is an intense, universal and intriguing emotion that knows no barriers of race, age and culture. It is an expression of profound affection, caring and attachment. Eulogized as life's driving force and cliched as "making the world go round" or "doing strange things to people". It is famously known to blind those it envelops!

When two people fall madly in love, the brain’s pleasure centres are activated causing the release of few chemicals such as dopamine, pheromones and serotonin. These chemicals are directly responsible for excitement, mood swings and generally lost in their own world. Falling in love is a magical experience that happens between two people. It is the most exhilarating of all human emotions and probably nature’s beautiful way of keeping the human species alive and reproducing.

The dynamics of being in love is our primary motivation as human beings is to expand the self and to increase our abilities and effectiveness. One of the ways that we accomplish this is through our relationships with other people. Usually, we fall in love with a person that we find attractive and appropriate for us but also someone who demonstrates that they are attracted to us. This creates a situation where a great opportunity is open to us for self-expansion.

Contrary to what most people think, the statistics show that most people fall in love with someone that they have known for a while. Only about 40% of people report falling in love quickly or love at first sight. Researches have shown that kindness and intelligence are extremely important in the process of falling in love. These two attributes are things that people learn about someone from knowing them over time. Intelligence is important in all aspects of life, especially in love. But kindness is the strongest indicator for a successful long-term relationship.

Love is not beyond the realm of science and the human brain, falling in love is just a matter of chemistry.

The danger of anger

Anger is a normal sentiment we feel when something unjust happened and when someone has let us down or hurt us, be it deliberately or not. This anger usually comes as a reaction to injustice and sin. The problem with anger is not anger itself, but anger that remains unresolved leading to bitterness and unforgiveness.

If we are very hurt and angry, our anger can overcome us. Bitterness can take on a power all of its own and leads to hate. This is quite the opposite from the love that we Christians have always seek to recognize within us. We can only give out the stirring love that God provides in our lives.

In Mark 11:25, we read of the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness is described as being necessarily present before we can know the forgiveness of God for our sins. To forgive is an act of obedience. God requires this of us and surely for a good reason. As God through Christ has forgiven us of so much sin, we need to respect this gift of forgiveness by extending a forgiving attitude towards those that have wronged us. The consequence of us not forgiving others would be an inability for us to know the forgiveness that God has offered us. If we are not merciful as he has been merciful to us, where really is our repentance? How can we claim to have known his grace?

Anger can cause a rift between us and God, and also disfunctionality within us. If we want to be free of the pain and the affects of pain that our hurt emanates from within ourselves, we need to know healing. Without forgiveness, we are not co-operating with God’s will, and therefore are not in a place of grace in order to receive healing for the hurt that we have experienced. Forgiveness is an essential element to the process of inner healing.

Deep bitterness can give rise to many emotional and psychological problems such as depression and paranoia. Matthew 5: 21-26 covers anger, forgiveness and reconciliation. As Jesus clearly teaches, we should always try to make amends with people that we have fallen out of friendship with. It may not always be the case that others are prepared to forgive us when we have wronged them or vice versa, but the act of animating our remorse to them is essential. Through this act we are communicating our own desire for peace with the other person as well as God’s requirement towards everyone of love and forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not easy. Depending on the degree of hurt or betrayal that is involved, it will often take time and effort. However, when a hurt person actually comes to the place where personal happiness, emotional freedom and relationship with God depends on that forgiveness, then the grace of God is needed to see them through in order to effectively control the anger and inviting God to deal with it.

In a nut shell, irrespective of race or religion, we can choose forgiveness, get rid of those painful feelings, arrive at peace and hope, and in the process also take this message all around to other people.

Not for sale

"Not for Sale" is written by David Batstone about human trafficking and global slave trade that generates US$31 billion annually and enslaves 27 million people around the globe, half of them children. The book highlights the picture and impact of modern slavery of the most vulnerable across the world.

Children, women and men of all ages are forced to toil in the rug loom sheds of Nepal and Pakistan, child soldiers fight wars in Africa, child sexual exploitation are blooming in Cambodia, Thailand, Vietnam, India, Peru and many other countries, labourers are coerced to work without pay in Bolivia, India, Pakistan etc, child labour is a common sight in Indonesia, Brazil, Kenya etc, and sex syndicates are not to be undermined in many parts of Europe.

No nation wants to be known as a haven for slavery and trafficking but nonetheless over 150 countries around the world are documented as a source for the slave trade. A thriving black market in human beings has emerged in our modern world. It is a criminal enterprise involving scoundrels and international syndicates. Corruption among law enforcers and government officials play a key role in its success. The process of enslavement involves traffickers targeting children from communities lacking in social power and at times with the consent of the victims' parents, the extraction by traffickers by removing victims from their home communities to destination where they are unlikely to get support from law enforcement bodies or general citizenry, slaveholders seeking control over every aspect of the victim's life so that escape becomes unthinkable, the use of violence as a mean to reinforce control and ensure compliance and lastly physical and emotion exploitation of the victims.

We may passed by a construction site but never think twice whether the workers are in enslavement, toiling long hours with little or no pay. Children in sex slavery are openly offered as human services in broad daylight, at times in public view and most of us just stand by doing nothing, except to feel sympathy for them. Slavery is in reality, it is not invisible. They are in public view but how many of us will raise an alarm or an eyebrow?

Slaves in Pakistan may have made the shoes you are wearing, the carpet you on standing on. Slaves in the Caribbean may have put the sugar on your table and toys in the hands of your children. In India, they may have sewn the shirt on your back and polished the ring on your finger. The rice we eat may well be harvested by young children in Thailand.

Widespread poverty and social inequality ensure a pool of slaves as deep as the ocean. Parents in desperate straits may sell their children, young women in vulnerable communities are likely to take a risk on a job offer in an another country. The poor are apt to accept a loan that later manipulate and rob their freedom. Slavery flourishes in the world because it is tolerated by law enforcement.

I believe conviction of criminals is one of the most effective tools to deter trafficking and abusing people. If only the laws are enforced, the slave trade will end tomorrow. But unfortunately, slave owners, pimps and traffickers know they can rely on a broken public justice system to escape prosecution. The legalisation of the sex trade in many countries make the prosecution of traffickers, pimps and brothel owners almost impossible.

The book of Ecclesiastes expressed the desperation of the powerless. "I saw all the oppressions that are practiced under the sun. Look, the tears of the oppressed with no one to comfort them. On the side of their oppressors there was power". (Eccles 4:1)

I applause the courage and commitments of many abolitionists who are making a difference despite incredible odds. I hope and pray that the day may come when these movements will wipe away the tears of the oppressed and deliver justice to the oppressors.

What is more important?

It was like in the TV show Lonely Planet – The Road Less Travelled, on the day I went from Phnom Penh to Kampong Cham. The taxi was such an old “bomb”, I would never have imagined myself sitting in it. There was hardly any space in the front for me to stretch my legs. Two long horizon cracks across the windscreen and two spider web cracks on the driver and passenger side were constantly attracting my attention. I wondered if the heavy rain would shatter it and what would happen to me if the glass goes flying everywhere! The journey was long and bumpy and I dozed off and on during the 3 hours journey. As we drove passed the village, I saw naked children playing in the rain. They looked happy and I wondered if they knew what the outside world is.

Kampong Cham is a very poor village. I am very inspired by the NGOs who are there to help the poor and needy. The Marist runs a school consisting of two bamboo walls and flooring the size of a quarter basketball court. The white board is A4 size. Public school is free but to learn English, they have to pay US25 cents and not many parents can afford to send them. Even if education is free, it is not the priority; the children are required to help out in the padi field so that there are bread and butter on the table for the day.

We are aware that education is the way out of poverty and the key to success. Without an education you have nothing in this world but when survival surpasses it, what can one do except to let the opportunity goes. Even if all the NGOs in the world are willing to teach for free, who is going to harvest the crop? Who is going to put the next meal on the table?

I could only agreed with what Scott Peck had said… “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."

The unread letter

Over the weekend in Phnom Penh, I received a letter from the mother of one of the Marist postulant. It was written in Khmer. I would have gotten it translated but I chose not to. I want the letter to be a reminder for me to remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that when times are bad and nearly impossible to keep our hope alive, one small random act of kindness can restore faith in God and mankind. I do not want to know the content to magnify what I have done.

I have done nothing significant for Sytha’s family. I only gave them some money to tie over the drought in their village last year. It did not burn a hole in my pocket or cause a dent in my wallet… just a small gesture to give them hope during their worst moments. But the money not only bring them relief, it also improved their living conditions. They repaired their roof and kitchen and also built an extension and created a bigger place to store the rice crop. Never did I expect that little kindness can do so much for the family. But her letter makes me feel even more blessed for it reinforces what I believe in… to give without expectation. I want to see the letter as a beautiful form of eschatology wherein we do not know each other and yet our lives have been touched by one another.

Her show of gratitude outweighs what I have done for them. Her letter is a reminder of bringing hope and changing lives that all of us are able to do if only we want to. The prevailing way to receive is to give from our heart. Give everything we can give. If we have money, give money. If not, give a hand to someone in need, give a smile, give some time to a community project, give a good example, give gratitude, give the best of ourselves in everything we do.Give of what we have without expecting to receive anything in return. Do what we can do to make life a little more joyful. There are many things we receive daily that were given by others out of the kindness of their hearts. We are all guilty of not noticing these free gifts that are a blessing in our daily lives.Sit for a moment and think of what we can do to touch the lives of other. One simple act of kindness will not deplete us in massive ways but it will display the love, joy, kindness and compassion that live within us.

I will treasure her letter for it shows that God never forsakes us, He provides, He cares and most importantly we are all instrument of His love, mercy and compassion.

Finding inner peace

Inner peace is the most valuable thing that we can cultivate. Nobody can give us inner peace, as it is our own thoughts that can rob us of it.. To experience inner peace we don’t have to retreat to a cave; we can experience inner peace exactly where we are. If we really value inner peace, we will work hard to make it a reality.

We have to choose carefully how and where we spend our time. Take the opportunity to be still or at least do something positive as the mind feels insecure unless it has something to occupy it. When we really can attain a clear mind, we discover it creates a genuine sense of happiness and inner peace. It is our thoughts that determine our state of mind. If we constantly cherish negative and destructive thoughts, inner peace will always remain a far cry. At all costs, we need to avoid pursuing trains of negative thoughts and this of course requires practice. It is not possible to attain mastery of our thoughts over night. But, at the same time we always have to remember that we are able to decide which thoughts to follow and which to reject. Never feel you are a helpless victim to your thoughts.

Modern life, places great demands on our time. We can feel that we never have enough time to fulfill all our tasks. However, we should seek to minimize these outer demands and take time to simplify life. There are many things that we can do without, quite often we add unnecessary responsibilities to our schedule. Do the most significant tasks, one at a time, and enjoy doing them. To experience inner peace, it is vital to avoid cluttering our life with unnecessary activities and worries. If we are dependant on the flattery and praises, we can never have inner peace. Criticism and flattery are two sides of the same coin. They are both the judgements of others. However, we should not allow ourselves to be affected by either. If we do, we are only feeding our ego. We should learn to have confidence in ourselves. We should value our real self and have belief in the good qualities that are part of everyone.

Inner peace does not mean that we have to live a life of a hermit. Inner peace can be felt amidst dynamic activity. But, this action should be done with selfless motives. When we serve others we forget our sense of self, and it is when we forget our limited self that we can have inner peace. If we want inner peace, we should feel that our inner peace depends on the well being of others. If we are indifferent to the feelings of others, then it is impossible to have inner peace for ourselves. What goes round comes back around, thus it is important to we offer a peaceful attitude to others.

Lastly, if you have inner peace, nobody can force you to be a slave to the outer reality

Friends are forever

You know some people who have "never met a stranger" and these are people who make friends wherever they go. I reckon I am one of those people who can talk to people easily and I am approachable when I choose to be. Making real friends? Those youthful days of meeting someone and being BFFs within hours are behind me. These days I am slow and guarded to discern between friends and acquaintances.

Making new friends is not easy at mid life. New friends are unlikely to come knocking at your door; you must get out and interact with people but you may even feel sluggish going out for a meal, drink or party, not to mention meeting strangers. However, I am fortunate to be able to make new friends who are witty and nice and able to give me the emotional support that I sometimes need.

Like first dates, the early stages of new friendship can be awkward and uncomfortable. This is not a reflection on you, the other person or the potential for friendship. It is just the way it is. One way to mitigate this is to do things together other than just meeting for a meal. Go to a movie, an art festival, just anything except just sitting and gazing into each others' eyes. Talk about society and we won't be tempted to over share personal stuff and perhaps overwhelm the other person. Relationship takes time to cultivate and it may takes years... but with a different degrees of intimacy and trust, real friendship can take place within a short frame of time.

Some of my most gratifying new friendships are people I knew long ago but with whom I lost touch. Thanks to Facebook that connect me with some long lost friends. Our shared memories are very fulfilling. In some cases, these were not actually friends in the past, but they are friends of a life time. These are not just about friendship but relationship as well.

Real friends are difficult to come by. If you meet someone with friend potential, make an effort to spend time with that person. Friendship is collective. If the friendship is meant to be, that gratifying connection will happen eventually. Some friendships just don't click. That is not a reflection on anyone. We need the connection to make it work. Nobody is a failure when friendships fail to take. Cut your losses, skip the self-flagellation, and move on to the next interesting person.

Friends are friends forever, acquaintances are not.