Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Yesterday I was involved in the Elderly CARE project organized by CADC. By sheer chance, we met up with a few elderly folks from way back when we were volunteers at Nazareth Centre. After many years with them, building up trust, relationship and bond, the elderly activities was terminated and taken over by another NGO. We moved on to serve in other voluntary areas such as battered women, children and youth. Since then, many of the elderly had died but occasionally we still visit the handful left and those who went on to live in nursing home.

Time passes so quickly, that it seems like only not too long ago that I visited this particular family. The husband suffered from a stroke and the wife was the caregiver. They had a son who was then a medium, drug addict and mentally unsound. I remembered how fearful I was then whenever I visit them because the old man was physically handicapped and the old lady was fragile. Their son would always hide at a corner and peeped at me and I often wondered what would happen if he attack me but that did not stop me from visiting them. One day, he spoke to me and talked about how Christianity has changed his life. He was a living testimony on how God works in our life. He found a job and all seem well… a life changing experience that was extremely encouraging. I felt very happy for them and that was the few last times I saw them before my other commitments took over and there were lesser and lesser time for the elderly visit.

Yesterday I was told that the wife had committed suicide 5 years ago, jumping from their 13th floor flat. The husband is now in an unknown nursing home while the son is back to drug and serving a 7 years jail term. As I looked back to those days, I knew the tiring endless demands and stress the wife was facing but never did I expect that she would reach a point of actual burnout emotionally and physically that took her life.

It was sad thinking of them and wondering if I could have done more. Unfortunately although epidemiologic data can help to identify those at risk of suicide, it remains impossible to predict suicidal tendency in any individuals. No one who has never been under those heartbreaking circumstances cannot explain and convince the suffering that there is a precious ray of light in the midst of the dark night. When the going gets tough and the tough gets going, one can literally be overwhelmed to the point of total despair seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. Some things are easier said than done and many things are just not comprehensible at the human level.