Emotions

I browsed through the point power handout given to the priests at the annual retreat today and I can’t help but to add my two cents worth on ‘Emotions’. Human beings have the basic emotional needs that are expressed as feelings of acceptance, respect and importance but all differs in the strength of need depending very much on our self confidence. Some need to be affirmed frequently, some need more freedom and greater understanding while others may need more security and social connections.

The primary emotions that Fr McQuire has pointed out are: joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger and anticipation. I would not classify fear, sadness, disgust and anger as primary emotion as they are more often, secondary emotion. A primary emotion is what we feel initially and a secondary emotion is what it leads to. Of course, it may be a norm for some people to primarily burst into anger right from the beginning. Thus, for such people then anger is a primary emotion while some of us only feel anger after being provoked, insulted, cheated etc.

When emotional needs are not met, most people, children and adults alike act out their frustration in various ways which are typically seen as misconduct in children and displacement in adults. Therefore it is important to be aware of our emotional needs as a first step to helping and changing ourselves for the better since no aspect of our mental life is more important to the quality and meaning of our existence than emotions.

Emotions are what make life worth living or sometimes ending. Hence, some great philosophers such as Aristotle and Plato had concluded several theories of emotion on how it triggers bodily changes and behaviour. Emotions are literally our feelings in the context of cognition but it is the physical sensation that makes them really different. It is therefore of utmost importance to bear in mind that emotions affect and are part of our disposition, judgment and decisions. The seven deadly sins and the seven virtues are all emotions… emotions of wanting (greed, envy, love), emotions of not wanting (fear, shame), emotions of having (happiness, guilt, pride), emotions of not having (sadness, anger).

An acceptable philosophical theory of emotions must account for at least nine characteristics: (1) emotions are typically conscious phenomena (2) emotions involve more pervasive bodily manifestations than our consciousness (3) emotions vary in intensity, valence, type and range of intentional objects, etc (4) emotions are reputed to be antagonists of rationality (5) emotions play a crucial role in the regulation of social life (6) emotions protect us from overly slavish devotion to narrow conceptions of rationality (7) emotions play an indispensable role in our quality of life (8) emotions define our priorities.

Emotions (feelings) alert us when our natural human need is not being met. For example, when we feel lonely, our need for connection with other people is unmet. When we feel afraid, our need for safety is unmet. When we feel rejected, it is our need for acceptance which is unmet. Emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions can convey a wide range of emotions and give out both positive and negative vibes. The better we can identify our emotions, the easier it will be to determine what is needed to be happy. Our emotions are perhaps the greatest potential source of uniting the human species. Clearly, religions, cultural and political beliefs have not united man but have in some ways, tragically and even fatally divided mankind. Emotions, on the other hand, are universal as it creates in us empathy, compassion and forgiveness etc. As the saying goes… beliefs divide us and emotions unite us.

Research in emotion has shown that it has an intense impact on our outlook in life as shown in Gardner’s theory on emotional intelligence which involves the abilities of self awareness, managing emotions, motivation, empathy and social relationships. It’s time we monitor our emotions and use them to guide our thinking and actions in order to act wisely and operate effectively in life. Otherwise, we may all have to sing to the tune of Bee Gees‘ Emotions… “It’s over and done but the heartache lives on inside…… in the word of a broken heart, it’s just emotions.... taking me over, tied up in sorrows, lost in my soul…..” How sad..... heartache, sorrow, lost soul... list just goes on and on.