· There is no way I will ever be able to get myself out of this mess.
· Don't pressure me to change. I become immobilized under pressure.
· I don't know how to do what I need to do for myself because I was
never taught this.
· If people hadn't abandoned me, then I would have been able to solve
these problems.
· People are basically selfish and they don't care about you.
· The only time people give me attention is when I'm not capable of
helping myself.
· No matter what I do, I'll be abandoned anyway so why should I
change?
· I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, so why should I try?
· If they really loved and cared about me, they would do it for me.
· I've never been able to do it before so what makes them think I can
do it now?
· I'm a weak, frail, human person and people can't expect me to get
strong overnight.
In order to reduce your sense of helplessness, one must identify those problems, obstacles, fears, or issues over which you feel helpless and identify what beliefs keep you locked into being helpless for each one. It is necessary to develop a new belief system that encourages you to recognize that being independent, competent, self-confident, and capable of helping, "fixing,'' and changing yourself is healthy, desirable, and necessary for you. Stop hiding behind all your old excuses, beliefs, and cliches about why you can't possibly help yourself. Lastly, embrace the "new you'' who is more self-competent, self-confident, and self-enhancing and recognize all of the healthy, normal, natural, beneficial consequences of living your life.
