Anonymity may be the best

Some say that anonymity is the last refuge for cowards. People hiding behind the screen of anonymity or a false identity feel the freedom to launch angry, hurtful tirades. Anonymity allows them to be unkind without having to take responsibility for their words.


According to Ephensians, our words should edify and impart grace. If we are unwilling to use our name, there is reason to believe that my motive is to hurt not to help. Whenever we are tempted to say something in secret perhaps to a family member, friend etc, consider why we don't want our name to be identified with our words. After all, if we don't want to be identified with our words, God probablydoesn;t either. He is gracious and slow to anger and we should be the same.


But of course, it is easier said than done. However, if we are constantly reminded of the unkind actions of people around us and yet we do not wish to hurt others for an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, the only resort we have is quietly correct the wrong doings behind the mask of anonymity. That would have saved many more heartaches. Nonetheless, the best blessing is to have the grace and courage to speak the truth. In reality, speaking the truth tends to hurt people as well. What an ambigious world!

Store up your treasure in Heaven

"We are given in order to share. “Caring for the poor is lending to the Lord, and you will be well repaid.” (Proverbs 19:17) In some mysterious way, the Lord is identifying Himself with the poor. To open one’s eyes and see the Face of the Lord in the disabled, the sick and the less fortunate is the perfection of man on this earth. Jesus makes it the scale for the Final Judgment. The great separation on the Final Day takes place between those who recognized God in the poor and those others who were blind to this truth."

"What we share with the other is not for us to imagine that the other is indebted to us. We cannot have strings attached to our contributions. Our reward is solely from the Lord for dispensing what He handed to us according to His Will. “Lend without expecting to be paid back. Then you will get a great reward, and you will be the true children of God in heaven.” (Luke 6:35-37)"

"When wealth becomes our god, we can turn into inhuman oppressors - blind to the evil we pursue to achieve our materialistic goals."

"Wealth is indeed a blessing of God… What is important is to realize that wealth should not cut us away from God. Rather it must become a ladder to reach God and reflect His Glory. And in this sharing of the wealth with the less fortunate to build the kingdom of God, man becomes perfect and his wealth becomes a blessing." "Jesus said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33) When accepted from the Hands of God and shared with the fellowmen around, wealth becomes a blessing and life becomes a delight!"

My good friend Luke

My good friend Luke left for further studies last month. However, he never fail to keep in touch. He is a reliable, dependable and trustworthy friend. In bad times or good times, I can always ask for help and count on him. He would help me from the bottom of his heart and with no strings attached. He makes me laugh when I am sad, he makes me happier when I am glad.

It is a mutual, reciprocal relationship between me and many of my good friends but especially so with Luke. I hope it is a friendship that lasts for a lifetime. We can all make friends easily but it is hard to find a truly good friend. Thank you Luke for your friendship, love, care and concern.

The silent generation

Mark McCrindle observes that every generation is distinct in characteristics. The Millienium or Generation Z is defined by three factors: age and life state (ontological factors), times and technology (sociological factors) and events and experiences (historical factors).

Several common traits of Generation Z include:

• Those born between 1992 and 2011


• Two income earning parents and smaller families


• Growing up in a world that is all about connecting through technology


• Friendship are quantifiable by Facebook and they search for answers through Google


• Smarter, tech savier and great multi-taskers


• More self directed and indiviualistic


• Demand that they are taken seriously

This is the generation that is over-stimulated, over-exposed and over-informed by technology. If Gen Z wants to know anything about spirituality, they can do so with a click. Gen Z is also called the new silent generation. Most of their conversations take place through Smses and social network portals. We do not hear their voice yet they are texting to be heard. We can heard their uncensored views an raw emotions on Facebook, Twitter and personal blogs. They can endorse opinions with a simple "Like" button on Facebook and bring either scrutiny or praise at incredible speed.

Gen Z can have 500-2000 friends on Facebook but severely lack the interpersonal skills necessary for close friendships. They are highly individualistic, self-directe and opinionated. Interestly, Gen Z are parented by Gen X who load them with many ex-cirriculums and the introduction of gadgets at a young age conditioned them to be great mutli-taskers capable of coping with a high volume of tasks. Gen Z are revoluntionaries who dream about doing somehing to change their world. However, they do not necessarily know what something is or where to start.

It is not easy to understand this generation and it is very challenging to build bridges to connect with them in the real world.

Missing my grandma

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated. It seems like only yesteryear when my grandma passed away. She suffered an infarct, then deteriorated and lost her mind. I saw her suffering and much as I loved for her to be around, I preferred to let her go. I did not grieve then, I saw it as a relief for her pain.

Now more than a decade later, I still miss her very much. I miss her more than anything in this world. There were nights when tears rolled down my cheek and I called out softly to her. She was a very special lady. She was my pillar of strength. She was my sunshine and beacon of light. She had a heart full of love... gentle wisdom in her advice she would give, guiding me in the way I should live. She gave me so much love, so openly, so freely and so overwhelmingly.

People said time will ease the pain. I hope so too but it goes so slowly. Who could ever imagine my life has change so much since she left. Many painful things have happened to me and if only grandma is still around, she will definitely make it better for me. There is such an emptiness that I never knew before and a loneliness that does not go away. Now I grieve for my grandma like never before. Who would know I still miss her so so much. Her memory will embrace my heart and keep me company till we meet again one day. I love my grandma.

Serial killers - psychosis that lurk beneath the surface of modern society

What drives a man to kill a person and another and then another until he can no longer stop? It is not easy to understand serial killer as in any other addictive compulsion. Irrational behaviour cannot be defined by rational thought. In order to gain a more thorough understanding of serial murder, cross disciplinary approaches are necessary. In this age of advanced specialisation, new depths of understanding into the disciplines of science, sociology and psychology is a must. There is no single causative factor to which the crime of serial murder can be attributed. Each has its own distinct signature and ritual. Serial killers are inherent sadists who are fascinated with violence and pain.

There are five theories of serial murder, mainly the offence cycle, fantasy addiction model, medical model, narcissistic personality theory and evolutionary model. A common feature of each theory is the indication of low self esteem. The expression of low self esteem can be either overt or covert. It depends on the killer's psychological disposition in upbringing and individual experience. Very often, an investigation into the childhood of practically every serial killer reveals an appalling history of abuse and neglect. As their ill-fated attempts in society fail, they take excessive measures to meet their aims and their warped sense of security becomes a form of addiction. This provides them with a transitory sense of security and complete control over the victim. The covert manifestation of low self esteem are far more difficult to identify as the killers appear overly confident. However, this facade is in response to deep seated feelings of rejection and inadequacy. Rather than acknowledge their poor ego strength, they develop the belief that they are superior to other human beings and feel that the world owes them something.

The offence cycle theory defines a predictable sequence that repeats itself in the thoughts and actions of a serial killer. Murder becomes an addiction and is consider to be the only means of survival. The addiction builds cumulatively and like other debilitating and life threatening disease, is progressive. The serial killer commits his crimes for purely psychological gain and there is always some sexual component to these crimes. Hypersexuality is a mood altering experience in the same way heroin or cocaine addiction is mood altering. The sexual behaviour is a psychotropic agent and is utilised as a coping mechanism.

The fantasy addiction model gives rise to deviant fantasies that drive the act of murder. They fantasies about causing injury and torturing their victims. They feel no guilt but possess strong feelings of severe insecurity and general anger towards all others. They kill for the thrill of it and have no interest in having a dead body in their hands other than to fantasise about power and control over it. Fantasy also blurs the distinction between what is real and what is not. The fantasy itself is the primary cause of the feelings of isolation the serial killer experiences. This isolation leads to self hatred and anger against the world. This in turn serves to provoke violent acts which lead to greater isolation and therefore, greater reliance on fantasy. It is a vicious, self destructive, self perpetuating cycle which thrusts the serial killer further and further outside the realm of what society deems to be normal.

A highly organised killer appear to have no problem with self esteem. Rather than alerting suspicions, he comes across as a trusted person. These killers are so self confident that they exhibit features of narcissistic personality disorder. The diagnosis of a personality disorder can progress to such careless extreme that the person completely isolates himself from meaningful contact with others and evolved to a dangerous level of antisocial behaviour. Beyond the typical manifestations of antisocial behaviour, the serial killer is driven by an excessive need for attention. Id a serial killer is narcissistic by nature,he may believe in a "manifest destiny" to kill. Because he regards himself as being above all, he has the right to decide who may live and who should die. In short, he enjoys playing God.

The medical model is a significant and viable platform from which to approach the study of serial murder as it links the types of violence exhibited to various patterns of abuse. Traditionally, the serial killer is regarded as being either sociopathic or psychotic. During the commission of their crimes, serial killers sever themselves from whatever sense of reality they are clinging to. They are unable to make the distinction between right and wrong because for them there is no such thing as right and wrong. Their only concern is what is going to satisfy their need to kill. Root causes include genetic defects, brain damage and chemical imbalances. The psychophysiological mechanisms that prevent most people from acting on impulses without forethought are absent within the serial killer.

The evolutionary model is used to identify killer who is both self sufficient and self seeking that the need of a social environment no longer exits. Victims are not considered to be people but object. He kills in order to see the end product of his work and collect the trophies of his labour, thus often keeps parts of victim's bodies for masturbatory purposes and the need for recognition, the desire to create a legacy of fear and most significantly, the overwhelming compulsion for committing crimes that not only defy all of conventional human logic but also shock and intrigue.

The first murder committed by a serial killer is an experience of euphoric physical and psychological arousal. Murder is a psychological high. The extreme of cruelty which the killer imposes upon his victim excites him to a state of sexual arousal. Necrophilia can best be described as sexual arousal stimulated by a dead body. The stimulation can be either in the form

of fantasies or actual physical sexual contact with the corpse.

Forensic science has provided some of the best tools for identifying and convicting serial killers but it cannot predict the determining causes of serial murder. Are serial killers themselves the victims of society? How can one measure true prevention, the type that precedes the commission of the crime? The motivations that drives a person to commit murder are cultivated in the darkest places of the mind but they do not grow without prolonged exposure to abuse and abandonment. Rejection, in its various form has turned people against one another.This circumstance is the darkest truth of all.

What are you giving up for Lent?

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the Season of Lent. It is a season of penance, reflection, and fasting that prepares us for Christ's Resurrection on Easter Sunday. By observing the forty days of Lent, we imitate Jesus’ withdrawal into the wilderness for forty days. The purpose of Lent is to be a season of fasting, self-denial, Christian growth, penitence, conversion, and simplicity.

The three traditional pillars of Lenten observance are prayer, fasting and almsgiving. Lent is a season of soul-searching and repentance, a season for reflection and awareness. The focus of Lent is also a time to prepare new converts for baptism through intensive classes and instruction. It is a time for long-standing Christians to review their lives and renew their commitment to their beliefs. More importantly, Lent is a time for serious, disciplined self-examination.

Some self examination questions upon which Christians might pray and meditate during Lent include:

(1) Am I sharing what I have with others?
(2) AM I gracious and patient with others, especially those who irritate you?
(3) Am I listening more to God and complaining less?
(4) AM I gossiping about others?
(4) Did I give to the poor and needy?
(5) Did I forgive those who have hurt me?
(6) Did I speak up for the maligned and oppressed?

The list can go on and on….

As for me I am giving up, giving in and giving out in my own ways. Smoking, I do not ; so I can’t give up smoking. Watching TV and surfing the net, I am not addicted, so I can’t that give up too. Cookies, ice-cream, chocolate etc I do not indulge, again I can’t give up. But I can give up being jealous or feeling depressed, I can give up a meal or two for the one child who die from starvation every six seconds, I can give up retail therapy. I can give in to a more prayerful life, I can sit silently with the Lord, I can read the Words of God everyday. I can give out to the poor and needy, I can continue to be a useful volunteer, I can give both money and kinds to a good cause.

Lent is really a preparation to celebrate God’s marvelous redemption at Easter, and the resurrected life that we live and hope for. It is essential to remember that nothing we do through self-denial or good works can ever repay the Lord for what He has accomplished for us. Lent is not about our giving up something just to please God; it is about what Jesus gave up to pay the penalty for the sins of the world… His dying on the cross.

The Good Samaritan

In the parable of the Good Samaritan, a Rabbi and a Levite ignore an injured man and passed by, with a Samaritan being the only one to stop and help. In today's modern world, this parable is becoming increasingly relevant. There are many examples of victims of crime being ignored and left helpless. The Good Samaritan is used to describe any person who goes out of his way to help another.

Luke 10:25-37
And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, "Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" He said to him, "What is written in the law? How do you read?" And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." And he said to him, "You have answered right; do this, and you will live." But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" Jesus replied, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was; and when he saw him, he had compassion, and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; then he set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, `Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.' Which of these three, do you think, proved neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?" He said, "The one who showed mercy on him." And Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise."

The righteousness of the law is indeed pretty clear about helping those who are in need even if that person is your enemy!

"If you come across your enemy's ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him. If you see the donkey of someone who hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be sure you help him with it." (Exodus 23:4-5)

"Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him." (Proverbs 24:17-18)

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you." (Proverbs 25:21-22)

If you encounter others in trouble, especially with people you want to avoid or do not like, how will you respond? Jesus contrasted the attitudes of three bystanders to the scene of a bloody victim beaten half-dead. Why did the religious leaders refuse help while an outsider, a Samaritan who was despised by the Jews, came to the rescue? Who showed true compassion and mercy? Jesus makes the supposed villain, the despised Samaritan, the merciful one as an example for the status conscious Jews. Why didn't the priest and Levite stop to help? The priest probably didn't want to risk the possibility of ritual impurity. His piety got in the way of charity. The Levite went close to the victim, but stopped short of actually helping him. Perhaps he fears that bandits might be waiting to ambush him. The Levite put personal safety ahead of saving his neighbour. The Samaritan not only stopped to help, he even went an extra mile to put him up in an inn and nurse him back to health. Are you willing and ready to do good for others, even to those you do not want to associate with? Who do you want to be, the Rabbi, the Levite or the Samaritan?

Alone and Lonely

All human beings are alone. No other person will completely feel like we do, think like we do or act like we do. Each of us is unique and our aloneness is the other side of our uniqueness. The question is whether we let our aloneness become loneliness or whether we allow it to lead us into solitude. Loneliness is painful; solitude is peaceful. Loneliness makes us cling to others in desperation; solitude allows us to respect others in their uniqueness and create community.

Letting our aloneness grow into solitude and not into loneliness is a lifelong struggle. It requires conscious choices about whom to be with, what to study, how to pray, and when to ask for counsel. Being alone can have its advantages. Only wise choices will help us to find solitude where our hearts can grow in love. A creative person craves time to be alone. Professionals take sabbatical and spend time alone and return to work mentally and spiritually refreshed.

The strongest trees are those that grow alone. The greatest dreams are those conceived alone. God can speak to us only when we are alone. Our purpose and life's meaning will be revealed to us only when we are alone. Yes, solitude is not the hovel of a recluse but the mansion of a master.

I hope I will be able to live in solitude for the rest of this year.